Sachin Sharma

Tag: Social

  • The 4 Types of Toxic People You Need to Stay Away From

    The 4 Types of Toxic People You Need to Stay Away From

    Toxic people come in all shapes and sizes and can creep into your life without you even realizing it. They can be your friends, family members, colleagues, neighbors, or even strangers on the subway. Some are easy to spot, while others are more subtle in their toxic behavior. But, the good news is, you can identify them and take action to protect yourself.

    As we step into the new year, it’s time to leave toxic people behind and make room for positivity and growth. In this article, we’ll be discussing four types of toxic people you need to stay away from and why.

    1. The Possessive Type

    These are the people who initially seem caring and concerned, but as time goes on, their true colors show. They want nothing more than to control every aspect of your life, which stems from their own insecurities. They disguise their control tactics as concern for your well-being, but deep down, they know they can’t survive without you. They try to isolate you from your loved ones and make you dependent on them.

    While co-dependence is a necessary component of a healthy relationship, it’s important to remember that you need to be in charge of your life. If someone else is making decisions for you, it’s time to show them the door.

    2. The Jealous Type

    These people appear friendly on the surface, but they won’t hesitate to bring you down behind your back. They constantly criticize you, find ways to undermine you, and make your life miserable. They often originate from a lack of confidence in their own abilities or jealousy towards your achievements.

    It’s important to keep your distance from these types of toxic people, as they can take advantage of you when you’re most vulnerable. Keep in mind that their jealousy is a reflection of their own weakness, and you don’t need them in your life.

    3. The Intrusive Type

    These toxic people can be found among friends, relatives, or even family members. They have no respect for your privacy and want to know everything about your life. They offer unwanted advice and are always in your business, even when it’s not their concern.

    To deal with these types of toxic people, you need to be firm and set clear boundaries. If you don’t, they will take advantage of your kindness and bring you down with their constant chatter and intrusion.

    4. The Competitive Type

    Life is not a race, and it’s important to remember that everyone is on their own unique path towards their own unique destination. But, being surrounded by competitive people can lead to you comparing your life to others and hinder your progress.

    In a workplace filled with competitiveness, it can be hard to focus on your own goals and be creative. It’s better to look for a supportive work environment where colleagues are more collaborative and less competitive. This will help you grow your skills and establish yourself as a valuable team player.

    In conclusion, these four types of toxic people can easily be misinterpreted as positive influences, but it’s important to recognize their toxic behavior and take action to protect yourself. As you start the new year, leave these toxic people behind and make room for positivity and growth in your life.

  • The True Meaning of Helping: Why Seeking Gratitude Shouldn’t Be the Goal

    The True Meaning of Helping: Why Seeking Gratitude Shouldn’t Be the Goal

    It’s natural to have a desire to be a hero and help those in need. Whether it’s lending a hand to a friend in need or volunteering in the community, helping others is a way to make a difference and feel good about oneself. However, the reality of helping is not always as simple as it seems.

    It’s no secret that help is rarely unconditional and selfless. There is always some underlying motive, even if it’s just the desire to be someone’s hero. But in our quest to be heroes, we often forget one important rule – to leave as soon as the job is done.

    While it can be tempting to stick around and listen to words of gratitude and appreciation, especially from a stranger, this can be a double-edged sword. On one hand, it can boost our self-esteem and make us feel worthwhile. On the other hand, it can also create false expectations and misconceptions about our true character.

    When we help someone, we become the source of their happiness and they are often full of praises for us. But the problem is that these praises are based solely on our one act of kindness. Deep down, we know that this is not an accurate reflection of our entire personality. Just imagine if someone judged your entire character based on one mistake – you wouldn’t like it, right?

    Unfortunately, the person we are helping is also making the same mistake. They are viewing us through a narrow lens based on that one good deed, and it’s easy to become caught up in that perception. But living in this delusion for too long can have consequences.

    We may be able to maintain this “good image” for a while by exhibiting a pattern of helpful behavior, but because it’s not our true self, we are bound to break the pattern at some point. And when we do, even if it’s just a small mistake, the other person may not be able to accept it because we were supposed to be their hero. This small mistake can trigger a chain reaction of mistakes in their eyes, and before we know it, we have broken expectations, promises, or even someone’s heart.

    The solution is simple – leave as soon as our help is no longer needed. This will not only save us from the embarrassment of breaking the illusion, but it will also allow the beneficiary of our help to hold onto the gratitude for longer. And, as a rule of thumb, good deeds are forgotten faster than mistakes, so there’s no point dwelling on them for too long.

    The next time you have the opportunity to help someone, remember to play it safe and leave as soon as the job is done – just like a superhero! But more importantly, remember that the true meaning of helping is not about seeking gratitude or recognition. It’s about making a difference and being there for others, without any expectations or ulterior motives.

    The satisfaction of making a positive impact on someone’s life is reward enough. And even if it goes unnoticed, that doesn’t diminish the impact you made. So, go ahead and help others, but do it for the right reasons. Be there for someone because you want to, not because you want to be seen as a hero. The act of kindness in and of itself is what truly makes you a hero.

  • A Lotus in the Mud: An Interview by Pragati Sharma

    A Lotus in the Mud: An Interview by Pragati Sharma

    Dilshad Ali and Tilak Raj have been friends for over 20 years now. From sharing a rented apartment to sharing food, their story of love and care despite different faiths is all what we need to look up to. A simple story with foundation of values of compassion and respect; basic and yet forgotten.

    The Khan Rajma Chawal stall comes across as any other roadside food joint in Chandigarh. It sells delicious Rajma Chawal and Curry Chawal at prices starting as low as ₹30.

    The owner Dilshad Ali and his friend Tilak Raj, along with two helpers can be seen setting up their food stall a little after noon. It is usually the lunch hour, and customers from office-goers, passers-by to students can be seen buying from them. Students are especially fond of their feed and thus are seen in more numbers. Ali and Raj remain busy for the next 3 hours as customers come steadily.

    Dilshad Ali and Tilak Raj have been selling Rajma Chawal and Curry Chawal for 3 years now in Sector 15 Market, Chandigarh. However, it isn’t just the delicious food they sell that makes their story worth sharing, but a tale of incredible friendship thrashing stigmas and stereotypes.

    In present times when it is hard to overlook cases of communal tensions, their story sets a confident example of tolerance and fraternity between religions. The intimacy is both an inspiration and assurance to gladden our hearts.

    Dilshad Ali Khan, a Muslim by faith and Tilak Raj, a Hindu, boast of a friendship which is 23 years old. The friendship has witnessed no ups and downs in these years.

    “Ups and downs in friendship come with selfish interests. Here, it is pure love and support.”

    Dilshad, who started off as an electrician says he always have had love for cooking and wanted to pursue it. “I used to see youngsters around, they had problem finding good food here. My only attempt was to provide them quality food so they don’t miss home.” His wife, who also is a good cook, helps him in preparing the food. Tilak Raj, otherwise a government employee, comes only to help during the selling hours. He talks less and is quiet during most of the interview.

    Dilshad and Tilak Raj serving food to customers

    In response to skirmishes in the relation due to different belief systems, they say there have never been any.

    “It never felt like we are different or our beliefs are different. Mazhab nahi sikhata, aapas mein bair rakhna (Religion does not profess hostility). We follow this teaching.”

    Overall, the city has been kind to them, but their association have now and then faced criticism which “isn’t deserving enough to be paid attention to and should be ignored.”

    Talking of the persisting communal tensions in the country, Dilshad says, “The government should not try to incept communal hatred and rather maintain a congruous atmosphere. It is only a handful of people who try to disturb the peace and such people have no religion. Amidst of all this, it takes an effort to preserve this brotherhood of ours, allowing it to not get stained. I pray to Allah that it stays the same.”

    Pleased at being able to provide healthy and hygienic food at a reasonable price, they plan to extend the business. The food comes as a savior to students living as paying guests and is greeted with immense liking as people appear in considerable numbers.

    “I am a college student and I live in a paying guest (PG) accommodation, so it feels really good to have lunch there. It reminds me of my mother’s hand made food.”, says Shraddha Juyal (20), a college student. “Khan stall’s food gives me a taste of home away from home!”, says another college student,  Anmol Kaur (20).

    Their beautiful pact among serious communal conflict prevalent today, blooms and stands alone like a lotus in the mud! (pun intended)

  • The Power of Self-Love: How to Be Happy Alone and Just Be Awesome!

    The Power of Self-Love: How to Be Happy Alone and Just Be Awesome!

    Have you ever felt like you were all alone and had nobody to turn to? I know I have. I used to believe that the people I thought were there for me would always be there to support me, no matter what. But when I needed them the most, they weren’t there. And that’s when I realized that the world doesn’t work like that. The people we believe will be there for us may not always be there when we need them the most.

    But that’s okay. Because sometimes, being left alone is exactly what we need. It’s a wake-up call, a reality check that shows us that we can’t rely on others to make us happy. We have to do it ourselves. And that’s where self-love comes in.

    You see, when people say they like you, they’re talking about your outer appearance. They’re not interested in the real you, your inner soul. They’re just curious about your life and what makes you tick. And that’s why we have to stop relying on others for our happiness and start relying on ourselves.

    We have to learn to differentiate between what we really need and what we’ve just convinced ourselves that we need. We have to break the habit of seeking the company of others and start living our lives on our own. And once we do that, we’ll realize that we don’t need anyone else to do what we have to do. We’re capable of doing it ourselves.

    So, let go. Embrace your solitude. And make a promise to never let yourself be vulnerable again. The only person you can truly rely on is yourself. And once you start loving yourself, others will start to find you interesting again. They’ll be drawn to your confidence and independence. But be careful, because this is the same trap that you fell into in the first place. Focus on what you want, not on what others want from you.

    The lesson that life has taught me is that being alone isn’t a bad thing. It’s actually a powerful thing. When you learn to love and be happy with yourself, you become awesome. And you don’t have to be someone else to achieve that. You just have to be yourself. So, go ahead and be awesome!

  • The Price of Love: What it Takes to Make an Indian Marriage Work

    The Price of Love: What it Takes to Make an Indian Marriage Work

    Marriage is a beautiful journey filled with love, laughter, and compromise. Whether it’s a love marriage or an arranged one, once you get hitched, you are in for a wild ride. Some of the sacrifices you may have to make might not be easy, but they are necessary to keep the marriage going strong. In this article, we’ll take a look at eight common sacrifices that Indians make after getting married.

    Letting go of passions

    In our pre-marriage days, we all have something that we are passionate about – be it travel, sports, adventure, or collecting things. But after getting married, many of us feel the need to let go of our passions to settle down with our significant other.

    Eating habits

    Food is a big deal in any marriage. You may have to adjust your eating habits to accommodate your partner’s preferences. For example, if you are a non-vegetarian and your partner is a vegetarian, you may have to give up your favorite meat dishes. If you are a north Indian and your partner is from the south, you may have to adjust your diet to suit both of your palates.

    Fashion sense

    Your fashion sense may change after you get married, especially for women. You may feel the need to switch from a more casual style to a more formal and modest one. Observe your married friends, and you’ll notice the difference in the way they dress after tying the knot.

    Spending habits

    Gone are the days of splurging on expensive bikes or clothes without a second thought. After getting married, you may feel financially insecure, and it becomes important to prioritize your expenses according to your income. This means cutting back on frivolous spending to save for the future.

    Friendships

    Maintaining friendships after marriage can be challenging. Your priorities change, and you may have to put your partner first. You can still hang out with your old buddies, but you can’t be in constant contact with them every weekend. Making your partner your top priority is a sacrifice you may have to make for your marriage to work.

    Ex-partners

    Staying in touch with exes after a breakup can cause tension in your marriage. It’s best to cut ties with them and avoid any potential complications.

    Affinity to family

    It’s important to maintain a good relationship with your parents and siblings, but once you get married, your spouse takes precedence. You may have to make the sacrifice of giving them less time and attention to make room for your partner in your life.

    Daily habits

    Finally, you may have to change your daily habits to accommodate your partner. This includes cleaning up after yourself, not wearing the same clothes for a week, and being a responsible partner.

    Making sacrifices for your marriage may seem daunting, but it’s all worth it in the end. A strong and loving marriage is a beautiful thing, and the sacrifices you make will only make it stronger. So, embrace the changes, compromise, and enjoy the journey.

  • The Dark Side of Emotions: How “Hurt” Sentiments Fuel Injustice and Division

    The Dark Side of Emotions: How “Hurt” Sentiments Fuel Injustice and Division

    As Indians, we often judge people and things based on appearances alone, without fully understanding the situation. Our brains are wired to make quick conclusions. But when it comes to caste or religion, our perceptions can change in a dramatic way. We may suddenly feel compelled to defend our own caste or religion, even if we are not directly involved. This can lead to taking things personally and not being able to let go until the situation subsides.

    Recently, there were incidents in the state of Haryana involving the blocking of roads and railways, aggressive attacks causing damage to public property, theft from ATMs, and the setting of shops and malls on fire, all in response to the “Jat Agitation” demand for reservation. The national media was covering these events extensively.

    I wrote a Facebook post condemning the incidents and the demand for reservation by the Jats, who are known for being royal and rich, but are neither socially nor economically backward. To my surprise, some of my Facebook friends who are Jats started defending and justifying the protests. One of them even called me to ask if I was following a politician who was speaking out against the demand for reservation. I told them that I don’t have to follow anyone to see that what was happening was wrong and to speak out against it.

    What was interesting was that these friends who were defending the riots were not even participating in the protests. Some of them had previously spoken out against the idea of reservation. But now that their caste was demanding reservation, they suddenly had a change of heart.

    There were a few who spoke out against the riots, regardless of their caste, but the majority of people criticized them for bringing shame to their caste, as if the agitators weren’t already doing that. It’s difficult to understand how anyone could justify blocking a road, let alone the more aggressive acts that took place, just to demand reservation for one caste. It causes inconvenience to innocent people who have no part in this reservation controversy.

    Why is it that our caste or religion is more important to us than humanity and the greater good of people? I can’t help but wonder what would happen if people from ISIS or other terrorist organizations were of the same caste as my friends. They would likely cry every time a terrorist was hanged by the law and protest against it, just like they did for the reservation.

    This is why politicians are able to win elections through their dirty politics of caste and religion. It’s our emotional attachment to our caste or religion that is the biggest obstacle to our country’s development. We are the biggest fools in this conspiracy to keep people divided by caste and religion, but one thing is for sure – we won’t change.

  • Apology 101: What Not to Do When Owning Up to Your Mistakes

    Apology 101: What Not to Do When Owning Up to Your Mistakes

    Apologizing isn’t always easy, but it’s an important part of being a responsible adult. Unfortunately, some people still don’t know how to do it properly. If you’re guilty of any of these apology faux pas, it’s time to take note and step up your game.

    First things first, never apologize via messaging. Sure, it’s convenient, but it’s also impersonal and can come off as insincere. If you’ve made a mistake, be a grown-up and face the person you’re apologizing to in person.

    Another big no-no is apologizing through a mutual friend. This is just a coward’s way out. When you apologize in person, your expressions and body language can speak louder than words, so don’t hide behind a third party.

    Some people like to give a long explanation before they apologize, but this is a bad idea. If you’re apologizing, it means you know you’ve done something wrong, so just own up to it and say you’re sorry. No need for a long-winded explanation.

    Another mistake people make is apologizing as if it’s a favor. This is just arrogant and sends the message that you don’t really think you did anything wrong. Remember, apologizing doesn’t make you any less of a person.

    Last but not least, don’t be the person who apologizes in the next lifetime. If you’ve made a mistake, don’t wait around to apologize. The longer you wait, the more likely it is that the other person will have moved on and won’t accept your apology.

    In conclusion, apologizing is an essential part of being a responsible adult. It’s important to know how to do it properly, and avoid common mistakes. Remember, if you’ve made a mistake, own up to it and apologize in person with a sincere heart.

  • Indian Men Online: A Wake-Up Call for Change

    Indian Men Online: A Wake-Up Call for Change

    It’s a sad reality, but many Indian men who try to connect with women from other countries on social media often face rejection. As soon as a woman finds out that the man trying to talk to her is Indian, she often chooses to avoid him. This can be frustrating for Indian men who are polite and respectful in their interactions with women, but unfortunately it’s a common experience due to the actions of other Indian men.

    Recently, an American woman decided to share her experience with Indian men online in an effort to shed some light on the situation. This woman, who loves to travel in India but doesn’t have a preference for Indian men, shared her thoughts with brutal honesty.

    She explains that on her social media pages, she is primarily approached by Indian men of all ages, states, religions, education levels, and jobs. And unfortunately, her experience has been that many of these men immediately ask personal and inappropriate questions.

    Some common questions include asking about what she is wearing, if her husband is home, if she gets along well with her husband, if she is currently in bed, and when she lost her virginity. These questions are often followed by even more inappropriate and offensive comments and requests.

    The woman goes on to explain that unfortunately, many American women will block these men at this point, as it is very offensive to be asked these types of questions. She also notes that Indian men will often ask to see photos, including requests for specific types of photos such as cleavage shots and images of her in jeans.

    The woman shares that she continues to engage with these men, despite their offensive behavior, because she believes that they are better than this. She feels that by patiently teaching them and helping them to understand the errors in their thinking, she can help them improve.

    The woman also points out the hypocrisy in the way that Indian men view Indian women versus white women. She notes that Indian men often view Indian women as “goddesses” and “pillars” who deserve respect, while viewing white women as objects for sexual gratification.

    It’s important to recognize that this woman’s experience is just one perspective, but it’s a valuable one that highlights the offensive and disrespectful behavior of some Indian men towards women online. It’s crucial for all of us to be aware of this and to actively work to change this behavior, by calling out and educating those who engage in it.

  • 10 Things Holding You Back From Happiness and How to Let Go

    10 Things Holding You Back From Happiness and How to Let Go

    Are you feeling stuck and unable to find happiness in your life? You might be holding on to things that are preventing you from reaching your full potential. Here are 10 things that might be holding you back from happiness and how to let them go:

    1. Let go of trying to please everyone

    Often times, we find ourselves doing things to please others, whether it’s going along with plans they’ve made for us or living up to their expectations. However, this can be detrimental to our own happiness and well-being. According to a study by the University of California, Berkeley, people who prioritize others’ needs over their own report lower levels of happiness and well-being. It’s important to remember that you deserve to live your life on your own terms and make choices that align with your own values and goals.

    2. Let go of procrastination

    Procrastination can be a major obstacle to achieving our goals and finding happiness. When we put things off, we miss out on opportunities and may end up feeling stressed and overwhelmed. According to a study by the University of London, people who procrastinate have higher levels of stress and lower overall well-being. To combat this, try setting small, attainable goals and taking action towards them immediately. Break large tasks into manageable chunks and create a schedule to stay on track.

    3. Let go of fear and pressure

    Fear and pressure can hold us back from taking risks and trying new things. They can also cause us to feel anxious and stressed. A study by the American Psychological Association found that people who experience high levels of stress have a greater risk of developing chronic health conditions. To overcome this, try practicing mindfulness techniques such as deep breathing and meditation. Additionally, remind yourself that it’s okay to make mistakes and that failure is a necessary part of growth and learning.

    4. Let go of self-loathing thoughts

    Self-loathing thoughts are negative and harmful to your mental and emotional well-being. These thoughts can make you feel worthless, undeserving of love, and not good enough. However, it’s important to remember that everyone makes mistakes, and no one is perfect. Instead of focusing on your flaws, focus on your strengths and the things that you have accomplished. Surround yourself with positive people who will lift you up and support you. Also, practice self-compassion, which means being kind and understanding towards yourself.

    5. Let go of the past

    Holding onto past experiences can prevent you from moving forward and enjoying the present. The past is gone and can’t be changed, so it’s important to let go of old grudges and regrets. Instead, focus on the present moment and make the most of it. Practice mindfulness and gratitude, which can help you to appreciate the present moment and let go of the past.

    6. Let go of perfectionism

    Perfectionism is the belief that everything must be perfect, and anything less is unacceptable. This mindset can cause a lot of stress and anxiety, and prevent you from enjoying the present moment. Instead, focus on progress and learning from your mistakes. Remember that making mistakes is a natural part of life, and it’s okay to not be perfect.

    7. Let go of holding grudges

    Holding grudges takes up a lot of mental energy and can lead to negative emotions like anger and resentment. Holding grudges can also lead to physical health problems such as increased blood pressure and increased risk of heart disease. Instead, practice forgiveness and let go of grudges. Forgiveness can lead to feelings of peace and happiness.

    8. Let go of comparisons

    Comparing yourself to others can lead to feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem. Everyone has their own unique journey and it’s important to focus on your own progress and not compare yourself to others. Instead, celebrate your own achievements and be proud of who you are.

    9. Let go of toxic relationships

    Being in a toxic relationship can lead to feelings of unhappiness and low self-worth. Surround yourself with people who uplift and support you. Let go of relationships that bring negativity and drama into your life. It may be difficult, but it will be worth it in the long run.

    10. Let go of negativity

    Negative thoughts and attitudes can lead to feelings of unhappiness and depression. Let go of negative thoughts and focus on the positive things in your life. Surround yourself with positivity and practice gratitude. This will help you to see the good in every situation and lead to a happier life.

    Happiness is a state of mind and it’s important to let go of things that hold us back from achieving it. This allows us to open ourselves up to new opportunities and experiences that will lead to a happier and more fulfilled life. Remember to always put yourself first and trust in your abilities and dreams.

  • Breaking Barriers: Why Sunny Leone Deserves Equal Respect as Any Other Celebrity in India

    Breaking Barriers: Why Sunny Leone Deserves Equal Respect as Any Other Celebrity in India

    Sunny Leone is a famous Bollywood actress and businesswoman, but some people in India don’t think she deserves respect because of her past career in the adult film industry. But that’s not fair! Just because she used to be in porn movies doesn’t mean she’s not a hardworking and talented person.

    Lots of people watch porn, but they don’t like to admit it in public. Sunny Leone is just being honest about it, and she’s really good at her job. She’s also a professional, just like other famous actors and actresses in India. And she’s a good person too – she wouldn’t shoot a movie scene if she thought it would be bad for kids to see.

    Some people say that Sunny Leone is bad for Indian culture, but that’s not true either. People have been watching porn for a long time, way before the internet existed. According to Dr. Chauntelle Tibbals, a sociologist and expert on the adult film industry, “Pornography is a normal and natural part of human sexuality, and it has been present in all cultures throughout history. It is not something that can or should be blamed for negative societal outcomes.” And lots of Indian movies and TV shows have adult scenes too. It’s not fair to blame everything on one person.

    We should respect Sunny Leone for who she is, and not judge her based on her past career. It’s not fair to call her names or say she’s bad for India. Everyone deserves a chance to live their life the way they want to, and Sunny Leone is no different.

    There are many other instances where famous people have broken barriers and overcome stereotypes in their respective fields. For example, Oprah Winfrey, who is now a media mogul and philanthropist, grew up in poverty and faced discrimination as a black woman in the media industry. However, she broke through these barriers to become one of the most influential and successful people in the world.

    Similarly, Ellen DeGeneres, a popular talk show host and LGBTQ+ rights activist, faced discrimination and even lost her job in the entertainment industry for coming out as gay. But she persevered and now has her own successful talk show and is a respected and loved figure in the industry.

    These examples show that it is possible to break barriers and overcome stereotypes, no matter how difficult it may seem. As Dr. Brené Brown, a research professor and author, says, “You either walk inside your story and own it or you stand outside your story and hustle for your worthiness.” It is important to recognize and respect the struggles and achievements of those who have broken barriers and overcome stereotypes, regardless of their past or present circumstances. And this applies to everyone, including Sunny Leone.