Sachin Sharma

Tag: Perspective

  • A Lotus in the Mud: An Interview by Pragati Sharma

    A Lotus in the Mud: An Interview by Pragati Sharma

    Dilshad Ali and Tilak Raj have been friends for over 20 years now. From sharing a rented apartment to sharing food, their story of love and care despite different faiths is all what we need to look up to. A simple story with foundation of values of compassion and respect; basic and yet forgotten.

    The Khan Rajma Chawal stall comes across as any other roadside food joint in Chandigarh. It sells delicious Rajma Chawal and Curry Chawal at prices starting as low as ₹30.

    The owner Dilshad Ali and his friend Tilak Raj, along with two helpers can be seen setting up their food stall a little after noon. It is usually the lunch hour, and customers from office-goers, passers-by to students can be seen buying from them. Students are especially fond of their feed and thus are seen in more numbers. Ali and Raj remain busy for the next 3 hours as customers come steadily.

    Dilshad Ali and Tilak Raj have been selling Rajma Chawal and Curry Chawal for 3 years now in Sector 15 Market, Chandigarh. However, it isn’t just the delicious food they sell that makes their story worth sharing, but a tale of incredible friendship thrashing stigmas and stereotypes.

    In present times when it is hard to overlook cases of communal tensions, their story sets a confident example of tolerance and fraternity between religions. The intimacy is both an inspiration and assurance to gladden our hearts.

    Dilshad Ali Khan, a Muslim by faith and Tilak Raj, a Hindu, boast of a friendship which is 23 years old. The friendship has witnessed no ups and downs in these years.

    “Ups and downs in friendship come with selfish interests. Here, it is pure love and support.”

    Dilshad, who started off as an electrician says he always have had love for cooking and wanted to pursue it. “I used to see youngsters around, they had problem finding good food here. My only attempt was to provide them quality food so they don’t miss home.” His wife, who also is a good cook, helps him in preparing the food. Tilak Raj, otherwise a government employee, comes only to help during the selling hours. He talks less and is quiet during most of the interview.

    Dilshad and Tilak Raj serving food to customers

    In response to skirmishes in the relation due to different belief systems, they say there have never been any.

    “It never felt like we are different or our beliefs are different. Mazhab nahi sikhata, aapas mein bair rakhna (Religion does not profess hostility). We follow this teaching.”

    Overall, the city has been kind to them, but their association have now and then faced criticism which “isn’t deserving enough to be paid attention to and should be ignored.”

    Talking of the persisting communal tensions in the country, Dilshad says, “The government should not try to incept communal hatred and rather maintain a congruous atmosphere. It is only a handful of people who try to disturb the peace and such people have no religion. Amidst of all this, it takes an effort to preserve this brotherhood of ours, allowing it to not get stained. I pray to Allah that it stays the same.”

    Pleased at being able to provide healthy and hygienic food at a reasonable price, they plan to extend the business. The food comes as a savior to students living as paying guests and is greeted with immense liking as people appear in considerable numbers.

    “I am a college student and I live in a paying guest (PG) accommodation, so it feels really good to have lunch there. It reminds me of my mother’s hand made food.”, says Shraddha Juyal (20), a college student. “Khan stall’s food gives me a taste of home away from home!”, says another college student,  Anmol Kaur (20).

    Their beautiful pact among serious communal conflict prevalent today, blooms and stands alone like a lotus in the mud! (pun intended)

  • The Dark Side of Emotions: How “Hurt” Sentiments Fuel Injustice and Division

    The Dark Side of Emotions: How “Hurt” Sentiments Fuel Injustice and Division

    As Indians, we often judge people and things based on appearances alone, without fully understanding the situation. Our brains are wired to make quick conclusions. But when it comes to caste or religion, our perceptions can change in a dramatic way. We may suddenly feel compelled to defend our own caste or religion, even if we are not directly involved. This can lead to taking things personally and not being able to let go until the situation subsides.

    Recently, there were incidents in the state of Haryana involving the blocking of roads and railways, aggressive attacks causing damage to public property, theft from ATMs, and the setting of shops and malls on fire, all in response to the “Jat Agitation” demand for reservation. The national media was covering these events extensively.

    I wrote a Facebook post condemning the incidents and the demand for reservation by the Jats, who are known for being royal and rich, but are neither socially nor economically backward. To my surprise, some of my Facebook friends who are Jats started defending and justifying the protests. One of them even called me to ask if I was following a politician who was speaking out against the demand for reservation. I told them that I don’t have to follow anyone to see that what was happening was wrong and to speak out against it.

    What was interesting was that these friends who were defending the riots were not even participating in the protests. Some of them had previously spoken out against the idea of reservation. But now that their caste was demanding reservation, they suddenly had a change of heart.

    There were a few who spoke out against the riots, regardless of their caste, but the majority of people criticized them for bringing shame to their caste, as if the agitators weren’t already doing that. It’s difficult to understand how anyone could justify blocking a road, let alone the more aggressive acts that took place, just to demand reservation for one caste. It causes inconvenience to innocent people who have no part in this reservation controversy.

    Why is it that our caste or religion is more important to us than humanity and the greater good of people? I can’t help but wonder what would happen if people from ISIS or other terrorist organizations were of the same caste as my friends. They would likely cry every time a terrorist was hanged by the law and protest against it, just like they did for the reservation.

    This is why politicians are able to win elections through their dirty politics of caste and religion. It’s our emotional attachment to our caste or religion that is the biggest obstacle to our country’s development. We are the biggest fools in this conspiracy to keep people divided by caste and religion, but one thing is for sure – we won’t change.

  • My Childhood Excuse That Became a Running Joke

    My Childhood Excuse That Became a Running Joke

    Growing up in 2006, my friend Vinesh (or Vinna, as we liked to call him) and I were two young and carefree teenagers who just wanted to enjoy life. Our 12th board exams were fast approaching, and we had to attend Math tuition every day to improve our weakest subject. Our ride was a daily 4 km bicycle journey from our homes to the tuition center.

    Our parents were strict, always reminding us that we had to study hard for the board exams. But for us, being stuck inside with books felt like a prison sentence. So, whenever we could, we would leave home early and return late, just to spend more time outside of the house. We lived in neighboring areas, so our daily commute was always a joint one.

    On the way back home, we would pass by a railway crossing that was often closed to vehicles due to the high frequency of trains on that route. However, being impatient young Indians, we would cross it on our bicycles without any trouble. We would even stop our bikes at the crossing and watch the trains go by, debating on their estimated speeds. Sometimes, we would wait for one or two more trains to pass, just so we could extend our discussions a little longer.

    One day, we got carried away and were so late getting back home that it was already dark. When my parents asked why I was late, I quickly came up with the first excuse that popped into my head: “The railway crossing post was closed for too long. Even between the trains, they didn’t open it. That’s why I am so late.”

    To my surprise, my parents seemed to believe me. The next day, I told Vinna about my clever excuse and how I had managed to avoid trouble. But before I could finish my story, he pointed out the obvious flaw: “We were on bicycles, you idiot. We could have crossed the post even if it had been closed for real. Why would we just wait and watch the trains?”

    I was stunned by my own stupidity and couldn’t believe that my parents hadn’t noticed the flaw in my excuse. Vinna and I laughed and laughed about my foolishness until our stomachs ached. To this day, whenever we talk about that incident, we can’t help but laugh.

    Those really were the days! A time when we were carefree, fearless, and just enjoying the ride. I will always cherish the memories of that time, and the running joke that was born from my childhood excuse.

  • Apology 101: What Not to Do When Owning Up to Your Mistakes

    Apology 101: What Not to Do When Owning Up to Your Mistakes

    Apologizing isn’t always easy, but it’s an important part of being a responsible adult. Unfortunately, some people still don’t know how to do it properly. If you’re guilty of any of these apology faux pas, it’s time to take note and step up your game.

    First things first, never apologize via messaging. Sure, it’s convenient, but it’s also impersonal and can come off as insincere. If you’ve made a mistake, be a grown-up and face the person you’re apologizing to in person.

    Another big no-no is apologizing through a mutual friend. This is just a coward’s way out. When you apologize in person, your expressions and body language can speak louder than words, so don’t hide behind a third party.

    Some people like to give a long explanation before they apologize, but this is a bad idea. If you’re apologizing, it means you know you’ve done something wrong, so just own up to it and say you’re sorry. No need for a long-winded explanation.

    Another mistake people make is apologizing as if it’s a favor. This is just arrogant and sends the message that you don’t really think you did anything wrong. Remember, apologizing doesn’t make you any less of a person.

    Last but not least, don’t be the person who apologizes in the next lifetime. If you’ve made a mistake, don’t wait around to apologize. The longer you wait, the more likely it is that the other person will have moved on and won’t accept your apology.

    In conclusion, apologizing is an essential part of being a responsible adult. It’s important to know how to do it properly, and avoid common mistakes. Remember, if you’ve made a mistake, own up to it and apologize in person with a sincere heart.

  • Finding Innocence in a Cynical World: Why It Matters

    Finding Innocence in a Cynical World: Why It Matters

    I was on my way to a work meeting and had some time to kill, so I decided to stand on the side of the road and people watch. As I was standing there, I couldn’t help but think about all the meetings I’ve had that haven’t gone as well as I’d hoped. I was feeling pretty cynical and not too confident about the meeting I was about to have.

    But then something funny happened. A little girl, probably around 7 or 8 years old, appeared next to me. She looked worried and confused. I ignored her at first, but then she touched my hand and asked if I saw anything. I looked where she was pointing and saw that a bird had pooped on her shoulder. I couldn’t help but laugh, and the little girl looked embarrassed.

    She asked me to clean it off with water from her bottle, which I did. But it didn’t really do the trick. She looked worried again and asked how she was going to clean it. I suggested using a piece of paper, but she said her teacher would get mad if she tore something out of her notebook. So, I looked around and found an empty medicine box and tore off a piece of hard paper from it. I cleaned her shoulder and she thanked me before running off to meet her mom.

    That little interaction made me feel so much better. It was a reminder that even in a cynical world, a little bit of innocence can go a long way. And as a result, I walked into that meeting feeling more in control and positive. And it went really well. So, thanks little girl for reminding me to keep things in perspective.

    It’s easy to get caught up in the cynicism of the world, especially when it comes to work and meeting new people. But sometimes, all it takes is a small moment of innocence to remind us that there’s still good in the world and that we should never lose hope.

    In this case, it was a small schoolgirl who reminded me of this. Her innocence made me realize that I was taking everything too seriously. It was a small moment, but it had a big impact on my day.

    It’s important to remember that these moments of innocence can be found anywhere and at any time. Sometimes, all it takes is a small change in perspective to see them. And when we do, it can completely change our mood and outlook on life.

    So the next time you’re feeling cynical and down, try to find a moment of innocence in your day. It might just be the thing that brings a smile to your face and helps you see the world in a different light. And who knows, it might even make your meeting or your day go a little better.

  • Indian Men Online: A Wake-Up Call for Change

    Indian Men Online: A Wake-Up Call for Change

    It’s a sad reality, but many Indian men who try to connect with women from other countries on social media often face rejection. As soon as a woman finds out that the man trying to talk to her is Indian, she often chooses to avoid him. This can be frustrating for Indian men who are polite and respectful in their interactions with women, but unfortunately it’s a common experience due to the actions of other Indian men.

    Recently, an American woman decided to share her experience with Indian men online in an effort to shed some light on the situation. This woman, who loves to travel in India but doesn’t have a preference for Indian men, shared her thoughts with brutal honesty.

    She explains that on her social media pages, she is primarily approached by Indian men of all ages, states, religions, education levels, and jobs. And unfortunately, her experience has been that many of these men immediately ask personal and inappropriate questions.

    Some common questions include asking about what she is wearing, if her husband is home, if she gets along well with her husband, if she is currently in bed, and when she lost her virginity. These questions are often followed by even more inappropriate and offensive comments and requests.

    The woman goes on to explain that unfortunately, many American women will block these men at this point, as it is very offensive to be asked these types of questions. She also notes that Indian men will often ask to see photos, including requests for specific types of photos such as cleavage shots and images of her in jeans.

    The woman shares that she continues to engage with these men, despite their offensive behavior, because she believes that they are better than this. She feels that by patiently teaching them and helping them to understand the errors in their thinking, she can help them improve.

    The woman also points out the hypocrisy in the way that Indian men view Indian women versus white women. She notes that Indian men often view Indian women as “goddesses” and “pillars” who deserve respect, while viewing white women as objects for sexual gratification.

    It’s important to recognize that this woman’s experience is just one perspective, but it’s a valuable one that highlights the offensive and disrespectful behavior of some Indian men towards women online. It’s crucial for all of us to be aware of this and to actively work to change this behavior, by calling out and educating those who engage in it.