The Cons Of Sacrificing Too Much For People
You! Yes, I am talking to you – the person who is considerate and kind. You are halfway through your life and if you look back, you have spent most of your energy on adjusting. Adjusting to other people, their requirements, their preferences, their happiness etc. You think you are doing good to them or yourself. Trust me, you are doing nothing good to them and definitely not to yourself. Let me explain why.
Let us start with them, shall we?
They are in the middle of a struggle. This struggle could be emotional, physical, psychological or whatever. Let’s call this struggle ‘life’. They are living their lives. They put in efforts, they fail and after a series of such fails, they start getting tired. It’s not that they have given up, no matter how much it seems like so. Their struggle is on, for as long as they are alive. You think they need you, ‘you’ in particular. That is exactly where you make a mistake. You are nothing. They might need a different mindset, some kind of spiritual awakening, or just a nice sleep. They don’t necessarily need you. They actually need a change. A change of environment, something to distract them from the negatives of that struggle called life.
When you allow yourself to be the help you think they need, you are in fact becoming that change that they want to get a head-start so that they can deal with life with more positive energy. Are you that positive energy? Oh no, like I said you were just the change, the distraction they needed so badly. Any other distraction might have replaced you if you had not been there. Even a stupid song or TV show, for instance. When you are being that change, you are presenting yourself as something that is replaceable and you will be replaced at a later stage, if not now. It’s better if you stop being that change, stop being that help you think you are because you are, in fact, nothing.
Let’s talk about you now. You think you are helping others and it might make you a better person. How is changing your status from being a fighter in your own life’s struggle to a temporary distraction for someone else makes you a better person? They will find a way to win their fight with or without you. They have all kinds of mythological shit right there with them which are a way better and long-lasting distractions than you are. Don’t believe me; go and ask those die-hard blind followers of those so-called ‘holy’ books or God-men.
Let us try to understand it like this. You used to be golf player; good or bad – doesn’t really matter, but the important thing is you were a golf player and were playing your own game. Then one day, you saw another player struggling with his bag and clubs. You left your game in the middle and ran to become that player’s caddie.
“A caddie is the person who carries a player’s bag and clubs, and gives insightful advice and moral support.” – Wikipedia
So do you want to be a golf player or somebody else’s caddie? Like I said before, a caddie is replaceable and is there only temporarily. It doesn’t matter who becomes that caddie. If you won’t become that caddie, somebody else will and it would make absolutely no difference.