The worst thing about cultures is that there are always some myths involved in them that are far from reality and absolutely do not make sense in real life. One such topic that is usually surrounded by myths in virtually all the cultures is love. These myths have ruined a number of relationships just because the people involved in them had unrealistic expectations from love. And if there was any hope left, it was killed by the fancy world of entertainment – movies and TV shows. They show such a dreamy picture of love that the real love fails to meet the expectations of people. I am trying to explain some of these common myths below.
1. The Myth of Automatically Finding “The One”
The most common myth about love is the existence of “the one” for everybody. This is as untrue as fairy tales are in real life. All the myths related to this term are like poison for relationships. It is often believed that you will immediately know when you will meet “the one” who is going to be your soulmate. Yes, you can be attracted to someone within a moment and that attraction can be pretty strong but it certainly doesn’t mean that he can be your life partner. This attraction is usually just sexual in nature (or romantic in fancy terms) and choosing a life partner is much more work than just feeling romantic about a person. You need to know a lot of other things about the person to make him your life partner and most of those things aren’t related to romance.
The problem with falling in love is that you are only able to see the good in that person and those good things may or may not be real. You need a lot of time and observation to know what really is real. And even if that person possesses all those qualities, he doesn’t necessarily have that strength of character to go all the way with you.
Another thing that starts to matter more, in the long run, is how well does the person you love get along with your family and circle of friends because you can’t just ignore everybody that has been with you all your life just to be with the one person you now love. Is he comfortable with giving you your personal space or does he tend to own every bit of your space? This fact alone can be a game changer for any relationship.
In order to spend all your life with somebody, you and your lover must accept both good and bad in each other. Nobody can be right in all situations. Both of you need to ask yourselves if you are comfortable with showing your dark sides to each other and if both of you can easily handle when the other person is wrong. It is very important to leave no trace of ego and grudges in your relationship before you take it to the next level.
After all this work how can one possibly believe that finding “the one” is all about just an instinct?
2. The Myth of “Meant To Be”
It is believed that love is something that brings two people close who are “meant to be” together. Sorry to burst the bubble but it doesn’t. There is nothing called “meant to be” in love. Everything related to love is a mutual decision of two understanding people. It needs a lot of effort and adjustments to make it work. However, the common myth is that if two people are meant to be together, every problem that may come to their way will get resolved. I am afraid such is never the case in real life. The research shows that 67% of the conflicts between couples do not get resolved at all. The problems need to be resolved in order to make things work. Nothing will happen on its own just because it is meant to be. It takes just a small misunderstanding to separate two lovers who have been together for years, if not resolved properly.
3. The Myth of Immediate Familiarity
Another common myth is that if you feel like you have known that person for a long time even when you are meeting him for the first time, he is definitely the one for you. This can be really tricky because it may delude your judgment completely. Some people are really good at taking initiatives and making others feel very comfortable with them and this is not a bad thing, but it definitely doesn’t mean that the two of you are fated to be together. In some cases, it might just be your inclination towards certain kind of personality traits. However, such a person may turn out to be your soul mate in the long run but it is not wise to jump to conclusions in your first meeting. Just give him some time as you would have given in case you had felt less familiar with that person.
4. The Myth of “One And Only”
It is a good thing for two lovers to be mutually exclusive to each other in terms of attraction. They should be able to love each other the same way, no matter how many people enter or leave their lives. But it is a huge mistake to take this faithfulness of feelings for granted. Never believe in the myth that there is one and only true love for a person. Even if two people are in love, they are still normal human beings. It is natural for them to get attracted to new people or their exes or someone among their friends. Even when two lovers separate and fall in love with new people, it does not mean their love for each other was not true or that they do not love their new lovers truly. Love is just a feeling like any other feeling (like sadness or happiness); it may or may not last forever. The longevity of love is no measure of its integrity.
However, such distractions caused by feelings for others are usually not strong enough and can be easily taken care of by just letting them subside and not acting on them. After some time, your feelings for your partner usually return to like they were earlier. It is very hard to make a lasting relationship, hence it is never wise to ruin it just for the sake of momentary feelings.
5. The Myth of Relation Between Love and Obsession
When someone falls in love, a feeling of constant excitement and happiness without any reasonable reason seems to stick to them and it is quite natural. It is normal to think about the person you love almost all the time in the beginning but there is a thin line separating it from obsession. If you can think of nothing else apart from that person, it is only an obsession and has nothing to do with love. You might have read or watched in fictional love stories that the lovers are madly in love with each other, and this proves that their love is true. But the reality is entirely different. Such obsession may be madness, but it absolutely isn’t love. Love doesn’t turn your life upside down; it just adds more flavor to it. So, your day-to-day activities are not meant to be affected in a bad way.
6. The Myth of “Happily Ever After”
And last, the biggest myth of all times. It is believed that when love is true, it is always full of only the happy moments. But I am sure every couple in the world can say differently about their own relationship. Everything has scope for boredom and so does love. It is normal to be bored and irritated with your partner and have fights. A relationship never stays the same. It constantly keeps on evolving with time and being always happy is not the sole meaning of love. Love is meant to be full of colors. You will have fights, arguments, good & bad moments, and the sex will not remain the same forever. And that does not mean that love has faded with time. There are a lot of chemicals and hormones that are responsible for your magical sex drive, and they wear off with time resulting in a lack of libido.
However, if you feel bored and turned off all the time, you should not ignore it as there is a lot you can do to spice things up. You might have to put in a little more effort than usual, but things can still get pretty exciting.
Relationships can be long-lasting but not by believing in these myths. You really need to put in some sincere efforts to find the right person and then create a durable partnership with him. Love is not just about having strong feelings for someone; it is also about using your logical mind and wisdom to see the practicality of everything and make your decisions accordingly.