Tag: Emotional regulation

  • Being a parent is one of the most rewarding, but also challenging, experiences in life. One of the most important things we can do for our children is to raise them to be mentally healthy and resilient. But how do we do that? The good news is, it’s simpler than you think with mindful parenting.

    Mindful parenting is all about being present and aware of our children’s emotional needs and responding to them in a way that promotes emotional intelligence and well-being. One of the key principles of mindful parenting is to create a positive and supportive environment for our children. This includes setting healthy boundaries, providing emotional support, and fostering their sense of self-worth and self-esteem.

    Another important aspect of mindful parenting is to model healthy coping mechanisms and emotional regulation. Children learn by example, so by practicing mindfulness, self-care, and emotional intelligence ourselves, we can teach our children how to cope with stress and difficult emotions in a healthy way.

    Mindful parenting also involves actively listening and communicating with our children. This means being open and responsive to their feelings and needs, as well as providing them with the tools they need to express themselves effectively. By providing a safe and supportive space for them to communicate, we can help our children to understand and manage their emotions.

    But perhaps one of the most powerful benefits of mindful parenting is that it can improve the parent-child relationship. When we’re present and aware of our children’s emotional needs, we’re more likely to connect with them on a deeper level and build a strong and healthy relationship.

    So, how can you start practicing mindful parenting? One of the simplest ways is to take a few minutes each day to practice mindfulness and self-care. This can help to reduce stress and improve overall well-being. It’s also important to actively listen and communicate with your children and provide them with a safe and supportive space to express themselves.

    In conclusion, mindful parenting is all about being present and aware of our children’s emotional needs and responding to them in a way that promotes emotional intelligence and well-being. By creating a positive and supportive environment, modeling healthy coping mechanisms, actively listening and communicating, and fostering a strong parent-child relationship, we can raise mentally healthy children.

  • It’s natural to have a desire to be a hero and help those in need. Whether it’s lending a hand to a friend in need or volunteering in the community, helping others is a way to make a difference and feel good about oneself. However, the reality of helping is not always as simple as it seems.

    It’s no secret that help is rarely unconditional and selfless. There is always some underlying motive, even if it’s just the desire to be someone’s hero. But in our quest to be heroes, we often forget one important rule – to leave as soon as the job is done.

    While it can be tempting to stick around and listen to words of gratitude and appreciation, especially from a stranger, this can be a double-edged sword. On one hand, it can boost our self-esteem and make us feel worthwhile. On the other hand, it can also create false expectations and misconceptions about our true character.

    When we help someone, we become the source of their happiness and they are often full of praises for us. But the problem is that these praises are based solely on our one act of kindness. Deep down, we know that this is not an accurate reflection of our entire personality. Just imagine if someone judged your entire character based on one mistake – you wouldn’t like it, right?

    Unfortunately, the person we are helping is also making the same mistake. They are viewing us through a narrow lens based on that one good deed, and it’s easy to become caught up in that perception. But living in this delusion for too long can have consequences.

    We may be able to maintain this “good image” for a while by exhibiting a pattern of helpful behavior, but because it’s not our true self, we are bound to break the pattern at some point. And when we do, even if it’s just a small mistake, the other person may not be able to accept it because we were supposed to be their hero. This small mistake can trigger a chain reaction of mistakes in their eyes, and before we know it, we have broken expectations, promises, or even someone’s heart.

    The solution is simple – leave as soon as our help is no longer needed. This will not only save us from the embarrassment of breaking the illusion, but it will also allow the beneficiary of our help to hold onto the gratitude for longer. And, as a rule of thumb, good deeds are forgotten faster than mistakes, so there’s no point dwelling on them for too long.

    The next time you have the opportunity to help someone, remember to play it safe and leave as soon as the job is done – just like a superhero! But more importantly, remember that the true meaning of helping is not about seeking gratitude or recognition. It’s about making a difference and being there for others, without any expectations or ulterior motives.

    The satisfaction of making a positive impact on someone’s life is reward enough. And even if it goes unnoticed, that doesn’t diminish the impact you made. So, go ahead and help others, but do it for the right reasons. Be there for someone because you want to, not because you want to be seen as a hero. The act of kindness in and of itself is what truly makes you a hero.

  • As Indians, we often judge people and things based on appearances alone, without fully understanding the situation. Our brains are wired to make quick conclusions. But when it comes to caste or religion, our perceptions can change in a dramatic way. We may suddenly feel compelled to defend our own caste or religion, even if we are not directly involved. This can lead to taking things personally and not being able to let go until the situation subsides.

    Recently, there were incidents in the state of Haryana involving the blocking of roads and railways, aggressive attacks causing damage to public property, theft from ATMs, and the setting of shops and malls on fire, all in response to the “Jat Agitation” demand for reservation. The national media was covering these events extensively.

    I wrote a Facebook post condemning the incidents and the demand for reservation by the Jats, who are known for being royal and rich, but are neither socially nor economically backward. To my surprise, some of my Facebook friends who are Jats started defending and justifying the protests. One of them even called me to ask if I was following a politician who was speaking out against the demand for reservation. I told them that I don’t have to follow anyone to see that what was happening was wrong and to speak out against it.

    What was interesting was that these friends who were defending the riots were not even participating in the protests. Some of them had previously spoken out against the idea of reservation. But now that their caste was demanding reservation, they suddenly had a change of heart.

    There were a few who spoke out against the riots, regardless of their caste, but the majority of people criticized them for bringing shame to their caste, as if the agitators weren’t already doing that. It’s difficult to understand how anyone could justify blocking a road, let alone the more aggressive acts that took place, just to demand reservation for one caste. It causes inconvenience to innocent people who have no part in this reservation controversy.

    Why is it that our caste or religion is more important to us than humanity and the greater good of people? I can’t help but wonder what would happen if people from ISIS or other terrorist organizations were of the same caste as my friends. They would likely cry every time a terrorist was hanged by the law and protest against it, just like they did for the reservation.

    This is why politicians are able to win elections through their dirty politics of caste and religion. It’s our emotional attachment to our caste or religion that is the biggest obstacle to our country’s development. We are the biggest fools in this conspiracy to keep people divided by caste and religion, but one thing is for sure – we won’t change.

  • Growing up in 2006, my friend Vinesh (or Vinna, as we liked to call him) and I were two young and carefree teenagers who just wanted to enjoy life. Our 12th board exams were fast approaching, and we had to attend Math tuition every day to improve our weakest subject. Our ride was a daily 4 km bicycle journey from our homes to the tuition center.

    Our parents were strict, always reminding us that we had to study hard for the board exams. But for us, being stuck inside with books felt like a prison sentence. So, whenever we could, we would leave home early and return late, just to spend more time outside of the house. We lived in neighboring areas, so our daily commute was always a joint one.

    On the way back home, we would pass by a railway crossing that was often closed to vehicles due to the high frequency of trains on that route. However, being impatient young Indians, we would cross it on our bicycles without any trouble. We would even stop our bikes at the crossing and watch the trains go by, debating on their estimated speeds. Sometimes, we would wait for one or two more trains to pass, just so we could extend our discussions a little longer.

    One day, we got carried away and were so late getting back home that it was already dark. When my parents asked why I was late, I quickly came up with the first excuse that popped into my head: “The railway crossing post was closed for too long. Even between the trains, they didn’t open it. That’s why I am so late.”

    To my surprise, my parents seemed to believe me. The next day, I told Vinna about my clever excuse and how I had managed to avoid trouble. But before I could finish my story, he pointed out the obvious flaw: “We were on bicycles, you idiot. We could have crossed the post even if it had been closed for real. Why would we just wait and watch the trains?”

    I was stunned by my own stupidity and couldn’t believe that my parents hadn’t noticed the flaw in my excuse. Vinna and I laughed and laughed about my foolishness until our stomachs ached. To this day, whenever we talk about that incident, we can’t help but laugh.

    Those really were the days! A time when we were carefree, fearless, and just enjoying the ride. I will always cherish the memories of that time, and the running joke that was born from my childhood excuse.

  • Apologizing isn’t always easy, but it’s an important part of being a responsible adult. Unfortunately, some people still don’t know how to do it properly. If you’re guilty of any of these apology faux pas, it’s time to take note and step up your game.

    First things first, never apologize via messaging. Sure, it’s convenient, but it’s also impersonal and can come off as insincere. If you’ve made a mistake, be a grown-up and face the person you’re apologizing to in person.

    Another big no-no is apologizing through a mutual friend. This is just a coward’s way out. When you apologize in person, your expressions and body language can speak louder than words, so don’t hide behind a third party.

    Some people like to give a long explanation before they apologize, but this is a bad idea. If you’re apologizing, it means you know you’ve done something wrong, so just own up to it and say you’re sorry. No need for a long-winded explanation.

    Another mistake people make is apologizing as if it’s a favor. This is just arrogant and sends the message that you don’t really think you did anything wrong. Remember, apologizing doesn’t make you any less of a person.

    Last but not least, don’t be the person who apologizes in the next lifetime. If you’ve made a mistake, don’t wait around to apologize. The longer you wait, the more likely it is that the other person will have moved on and won’t accept your apology.

    In conclusion, apologizing is an essential part of being a responsible adult. It’s important to know how to do it properly, and avoid common mistakes. Remember, if you’ve made a mistake, own up to it and apologize in person with a sincere heart.