How about good enough?

Dear Authentic Introvert,

I finished editing my fourth and last video for this month last night and I might’ve watched it at least twelve times before uploading.

But I watched it again this morning and suddenly I could see at least a hundred flaws.

I still have 7 hours before it goes live on YouTube so maybe I can fix some of them and reupload.

I then showed it to my roommate, and she thinks it’s perfect.

I gave doing more edits a final thought when something struck me.

If I choose to rework on this video then this would mean I spent 2 days, half a night and then another half a day just editing it.

Scripting and shooting took me only a day.

If I do this, I’d start dreading making my subsequent videos because of how much time and hard work editing is going to take.

Seems like I am turning making videos from an enjoyable experience to a challenge.

And this at the time when people with a million subscribers are posting videos unedited.

I finally realized how pointless perfecting the editing is – not just because other people are getting away without doing so but also because this is an endless endeavor.

I am sure I’d never be fully satisfied with my work.

Instead of putting all my energy into one video and still leaving it imperfect in many ways, I must focus on my next video.

Because I’m sure that’d be more valuable to my audience of 205 and counting.

Sometimes the wise thing to do is not to keep blindly perfecting something but see the value it’s actually going to add and be satisfied with good enough.

Doing so keeps things in motion, so you don’t feel stuck, feel demotivated and tend to give up.

And this is where good enough wins over perfection!

Key Takeaway:

Instead of always aiming for perfection, aim for good enough.

Because enjoying the process is more important than chasing the unachievable.

Yours Good Enough,

Sachin Sharma

P.S. Here’s the video in case you want to see it:

when you’re not exactly losing anything.

Dear Authentic Introvert,

I was never competitive, but I did survive motivational speeches from my parents and teachers to beat the competition and top the class.

I was rebellious, which fueled my tendency not to see my classmates as opponents despite the efforts.

And I still don’t see my peers as a competition.

The thing is –

You have a unique set of skills and combined with your personality, you become an unmatchable package.

Just because somebody else is living the life you want doesn’t mean you should copy their skills and personality.

You’d never be the same.

And when you’re not even on the same journey as others, I don’t see the point in competing.

However, learning and being inspired by talented people in your niche does make sense.

It is, in fact, a healthy practice because it offers alternative approaches.

The problem with the aspiration to win is you’re focusing solely on the person you’re trying to beat.

All you want is to be better at what they do.

And you lose your creativity and uniqueness in the process.

How’s it winning if you lose your personality?

Key Takeaway:

Instead of the winning mindset, adopt a learn and grow approach.

It keeps you creative without the pressure of being better at mimicking somebody.

Can’t lose – can’t win,

Sachin Sharma

makes you perform better.

Dear Authentic Introvert,

Everybody talks about the importance of having goals and working hard to achieve them within the deadline.

However, doing so does little to help you overcome self-doubt and performance pressure.

But what if you start with the mindset that the outcome doesn’t matter and let’s just do it for the experience?

I know many would argue that without a goal, there is no motivation to go through with it and I agree.

Some may quit soon when they aren’t working for an outcome – the reward.

If the anticipation of receiving the reward in the end keeps your bells ringing, then good for you!

But if you are one of those who face crippling self-doubt when they think about the end goal, then this strategy is for you.

In Hindu religious text, Geeta, Lord Krishna also advises to not keep the outcome in mind while working for it because it’s not in your power to affect it.

Not being religious, I didn’t think much of it from a practical perspective but recently, I started to get how profoundly it can be applied to our endeavors.

Doing so frees you from an invisible burden that pushes you to the point where taking a break doesn’t stop your mind from constantly worrying about the outcome.

As a result, you fail to enjoy the experience, the process and just want to get over with it.

Research shows that focusing on the process over the outcome can help reduce procrastination.

It’s easier to choose a task that you enjoy than something you must do now to reach an end goal months or years from now.

Moreover, history has proven that the people who achieved remarkable things didn’t really plan to succeed to the extent they really did.

Next time you dread working on a task lying in front of you, try shifting your focus towards the joy of doing it.

Key Takeaway:

For a better outcome, forget about the outcome and focus on the process.

All for experiences,

Sachin Sharma

but can you?

Dear Authentic Introvert,

We all love doing something, but the problem is – not everything can be monetized.

This creates a dilemma when you have to choose something you can make money out of over something that you love doing.

And then your employer expects you to work as if you love your job.

I liked one approach in particular when I read about it a few years back probably in a Facebook post.

It suggests keeping what you love and what you do for money separate from one another.

It mentioned things like:

“Don’t look for a dream job. Use your job to live a dream life.”

“I don’t dream of work. I dream of vacations, family time and fun activities.” (my favorite!)

But whoever has tried it knows that this is easier said than done.

You have to really grind at work if you want to make good money and even then, you may not be able to afford the life you dream of.

Very few do, but the stats are not reassuring.

A better and more practical approach would be to not let your job eat completely into what you love doing, just because you can’t make any money from the latter.

Not everything has to be about money.

We don’t watch Netflix for money.

We don’t build a family for money.

Then why does spending an hour every day on the thing you love have to be about money?

Do it because you’ve always loved it and you don’t want to lose it.

Money is a good motivation but it’s not the only one and I wouldn’t ever call it a good one either.

Especially when it frustrates, causes stress, and restlessness.

Don’t get me wrong; money is a great as a tool but as a goal, it simply sucks.

By making our life revolve less around money and more around experiences, we can live a more fulfilled life – the one we can look back on with no regrets, the one that doesn’t make us feel ‘not enough’.

I know that people who benefit from this general greed for money won’t agree.

But I’d ignore them for the sake of my happiness and freedom.

Key Takeaway:

Don’t let money call the shots. It is supposed to serve you and not the other way around.

Do what you love every single day – even if it doesn’t make you money.

To freedom and beyond,

Sachin Sharma

– not when it comes to your happiness!

Dear Authentic Introvert,

What makes you happy?

Is it spending time with friends, binge-watching your favorite shows, earning a ton of money, buying new stuff or something else?

Or is it the number of likes you get on social media?

Whatever controls your happiness controls you because at the end of the day, happiness is all we seek.

However, when it comes to introverts, most of us find happiness within ourselves.

We prefer solo activities over group events for fun.

This sometimes leads others to believe we don’t know how to have real fun.

But the fact is – our way of having fun is quite empowering because we are not looking for external stimulation and validation to be happy.

It may sound strange to hear but there are people in this world who cannot feel happy about their wins unless there is a crowd cheering for them.

How helpless one should feel when they can’t even enjoy their achievements without external validation.

However, back when I was naive about my introversion and the unique strengths that come with it, I was often made to believe that I wasn’t happy.

“You should get out more.”

“You should pick that job because it pays more for what you do.”

“Let’s party with these people because they really know how to have fun.”

And I’d often give in and agreed to experience these, only to find out that the only thing such people know is to make a lot of noise so it could drown their rational thoughts that were making them unhappy.

They rely on false compliments from random strangers to feel good about themselves.

They brag about their possessions to feel good about themselves.

Whenever I gave in to such requests, I felt drained, sometimes disgusted and like an outlier in these social setups.

Why would I be interested in how much money a total stranger made in the last year?

The more I think about it the sadder I feel for them.

Ironically, what’s fun for some is nothing but an overload of work for us to simply survive it.

I’ve felt that introverts are closer to reality than extroverts can ever be while having a powerful imagination that can lift our spirits.

What an amazing combo that is!

And that’s why we must choose our own fun, our own happiness… and refill ourselves with the right kind of energy.

Key Takeaway:

Don’t let others define your happiness.

And make sure to indulge more in what’s fun for you, even if it isn’t for the world.

and yet here we are.

Dear Authentic Introvert,

We have a superpower that makes us amazing – free will.

The more we are allowed to practice it, the more we grow intellectually.

Because the ability you don’t use eventually becomes obsolete.

For example, early humans used to have an enhanced sense of smell that was crucial for survival. It helped them detect danger and source food.

We can’t go back to history, but we can certainly learn a lesson or two.

Otherwise, history is doomed to repeat itself.

Today, being creative has become a gift of a few and free will is more like an illusion because what decides our choices is the trend.

And who decides the trend?

No points for guessing – those who profit from it.

If only we can dare to free ourselves from the clutches of artificial influences and think not just outside the box but outside of what’s considered the norm, we can be unstoppable.

Let’s work more on this thought during the next week.

For now, here’s a glance at the last week:

Monday

Or are they strictly for business purposes?

Dear Authentic Introvert,

How often do you receive calls that are unnecessary from a business point of view?

I am not referring to those sales calls that are intended to sell you things you don’t want.

I am asking about those calls that you receive from friends and family just to check on you or for friendly banter.

And how often are you the one making those calls?

Not very often, I believe, looking at how busy we are with our routines and work engagements.

I was forced to think about this a while ago.

A friend casually remarked during a discussion about business that I must stop wasting my time on those pointless calls.

I didn’t think much of it then, but I started reflecting on that discussion this morning when a thought made me chuckle.

I don’t easily take phone calls from unknown people – thanks to my introversion, but I also don’t take calls from certain people I do know.

In fact, I dread those calls for the simple reason that whenever these people call, it’s about something they need.

And ironically, the friend who was advising me, unbeknownst to him, happens to be one such caller.

Businesspersons may pride themselves on strictly making only business calls, but I believe this is very sad.

When the phone reached everybody’s pockets, we were all so excited about how we can now stay connected round the clock.

But over time, we lost touch with that part of ourselves.

Today, phone calls have become selfish and so have we.

Exchanging pleasantries as the call begins has become such a cliché that it’s actually the time when we’re trying to guess what the caller wants.

What most people don’t understand is the most purposeful calls are the ones made without a purpose.

You just want to talk to a friend for no reason, so you call them right away.

How lucky are such people who still receive such calls! (I do.)

And if somebody thinks it’s a waste of time, there is something terribly wrong with their way of thinking.

Besides, deep relationships are a need not just for humans but also for thriving businesses.

Because no matter what we believe, we do value genuine connections at our cores.

And this is the emotion successful businesses like Amazon tap into.

They make customers feel valued.

Why else would we receive birthday wishes from our banks?

Therefore, if you’ve stopped making or receiving such pointless calls, I highly recommend you start working on them right away.

Key Takeaway:

Make calling your friends and family for no reason a priority.

They fulfill a need that goes deeper than any other.

Will wait for your call,

Sachin Sharma

a great mentor. Choose one carefully.

Dear Authentic Introvert,

Not everyone needs a mentor but having one – the right one may make things easier for you.

Once you have a clear understanding of your goals, you may identify a mentor whose guidance aligns with your aspirations.

And if you’re like me, you also need one to gain clarity on our goals.

You see, I operate by omitting options and then choosing what’s left in the end.

This is not the best strategy if you aren’t comfortable testing which mountain to climb by actually climbing them one by one until something doesn’t align with your values.

But hey, it’s okay. You still gain experience and learn a thing or two.

While Steve Jobs is often remembered for his stage presence, Robert Friedland at Reed College mentored him.

His influence was significant in shaping Jobs’s marketing genius.

It is important to consider only those who demonstrate a consistent track record of authenticity.

Check out their published works and feedback to be sure.

Besides being authentic, there are a few other qualities you might want to look for that make them introvert friendly.

For instance, those who value one-on-one interactions over large group dynamics would be a better fit.

Good listeners and thoughtful communicators can be a great match for the long run.

It’s good to ask questions about their philosophy to gain insight into whether you both look at the world the same way.

If making money doesn’t excite you, choosing someone who makes you rich is pointless.

Work on a small-time project with a person to learn more about them.

Because at first glance, someone’s charisma can be compelling, but we are trying to find one whose actions match their words.

And as always, trust your gut feeling.

If a mentor feels authentic, it could be a sign they are a great match.

Key Takeaway:

Choose a mentor not by looking at the persona they’ve created but what’s inside.

Because actions speak louder than words!

In your support,

Sachin Sharma

Build meaningful connections that don’t make you compromise your well-being.

Navigating relationships is a tricky area for introverts.

On one hand, social interaction is essential for collaborative ventures but on the other hand, we need solitude to recharge and reflect.

This balance is easier to maintain if you make it a priority from the first meeting.

But even if it’s too late, it’s still worth the effort.

I have formed mostly burdensome relationships my whole life.

I constantly feel like I am in their debt, and I must do everything in my power to pay it off and then some more.

It took a huge toll on my mental health over the years.

And here I am struggling to connect with my true self while dealing with the guilt of finally having some boundaries.

Being available all the time for everyone for 36 years has its downsides.

The sooner you realize it the better that saying ‘NO’ is not a terrible thing.

It’s about respecting yourself, your time and well-being.

It’s about teaching others to do the same.

Ever wonder why some people don’t value you despite taking your help all the time? That’s because you didn’t teach them to.

No matter how close a person is – friend or family, define your boundaries clearly.

Respectfully communicate your need for solitude.

Practice saying “no” to plans that feel draining.

And the ones you need to think about, take time to carefully consider your decision.

Those who you have a meaningful relationship with will understand those boundaries.

Spend more time with such people because they truly understand and appreciate you.

Engage more in activities that foster deeper connections.

Have quiet days in your calendar without social obligations.

It’s okay to maintain bonds via text or call without physical presence.

Maintaining relationships needs work – from both sides.

Let people follow your protocols if they want to be in your inner circle.

Key Takeaway:

Have boundaries for your own good and prioritize people who respect them.

Aim for having more people who value you for who you truly are.

Respectfully yours,

Sachin Sharma