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Opinion, Parenting

Parenting 101: How Strict and Lenient Should One Be with a Child

Parents taking their child to school in the morning


Parenting is a journey filled with ups and downs, challenges, and rewarding moments. As parents, we often find ourselves grappling with the question of how strict or lenient we should be with our children. Striking the right balance between these two approaches is crucial, as too much of either can have consequences for our children’s development and overall well-being. In this article, we will explore the art of parenting between strictness and leniency, and why finding the middle ground is essential for raising resilient, emotionally healthy children.

Understanding Strictness and Leniency:

Strict parenting involves setting clear rules and boundaries for children to follow. Parents who adopt a strict approach prioritize discipline and order, with little room for negotiation or flexibility. On the other hand, lenient parenting is characterized by a more permissive and easy-going attitude. Lenient parents may be more inclined to give in to their child’s demands and avoid setting firm boundaries.

The Consequences of Excessive Strictness:

While setting boundaries is necessary for a child’s development, being overly strict can lead to negative outcomes. Children raised under excessive strictness may feel restricted, leading to feelings of rebellion and a lack of trust. Additionally, strict parenting can hinder a child’s ability to make independent decisions and develop problem-solving skills. The fear of punishment may also prevent children from communicating openly with their parents, hindering the parent-child relationship.

The Pitfalls of Excessive Leniency:

On the other end of the spectrum, being excessively lenient can also have adverse effects on a child’s development. Without clear boundaries, children may struggle with self-discipline and may not understand the importance of rules. The lack of structure may lead to a sense of entitlement and a difficulty in understanding consequences for their actions. Moreover, children may grow up feeling insecure or neglected if they perceive their parents as disinterested in their well-being.

The Power of a Balanced Approach:

A balanced approach to parenting involves finding the middle ground between strictness and leniency. This balanced approach provides children with the structure they need while allowing room for individuality and growth. By setting clear and consistent boundaries, children understand the expectations, and they feel secure in knowing what is acceptable behavior. Simultaneously, a balanced approach acknowledges the importance of understanding and empathy, fostering a supportive environment where children feel heard and understood.

Benefits of a Balanced Parenting Style:

A balanced parenting style nurtures emotional well-being and resilience in children. When children experience a balanced approach, they develop a sense of responsibility and accountability for their actions. They also learn how to cope with challenges, make decisions, and build self-confidence. Furthermore, children raised in a balanced environment tend to have healthier relationships with their parents, feeling more comfortable expressing their feelings and seeking guidance.

Practical Tips for Finding Balance:

  1. Communication is Key: Encourage open and honest communication with your children. Listen to their concerns and thoughts without judgment, fostering trust and understanding.
  2. Set Clear Expectations: Establish clear rules and consequences, ensuring consistency in enforcing them. Explain the reasons behind the rules to help children understand the importance of adhering to them.
  3. Be Empathetic: Acknowledge your child’s feelings and emotions, even when setting boundaries. Validate their experiences and provide support when needed.
  4. Encourage Independence: Allow children to make age-appropriate decisions, fostering a sense of responsibility and self-reliance.
  5. Lead by Example: Model the behavior you want to see in your children. Demonstrate respect, empathy, and self-discipline to provide them with positive role models.


Parenting is a delicate balancing act, where finding the middle ground between strictness and leniency is crucial for raising emotionally healthy and resilient children. A balanced approach provides children with the structure they need while nurturing their individuality and growth. By embracing empathy, clear communication, and consistent boundaries, parents can create a nurturing environment where children can flourish and develop the skills they need to thrive in life. Strive for balance in your parenting approach and witness the positive impact it has on your child’s well-being and overall development.

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