and find you credible.

Dear Authentic Introvert,

Ever felt like people don’t take you as seriously as they should?

You find your suggestions quite sensible and wise, but people just don’t seem to get you.

They just don’t find you credible enough to rely on you or your words.

Here’s why it happens (could be one or more of these reasons):

• They don’t think you are competent.
  People only listen to people who’ve proved themselves by achieving something or by showing results.
  You might say things that sound credible but if you don’t exhibit competence with your actions, people are less likely to listen to you.

• Your behavior is inconsistent.
  One day you are angry with someone and all you do is list their flaws and, on another day, you are suddenly talking about their goodness.
  Such behavior makes you lose your trustworthiness.

• You are unreliable.
  Maintaining a track record of dependability contributes to your credibility.
  If you are known to not deliver on your words often and keep renegotiating with yourself whether to do something or not, you lose credibility.

• It’s hard to connect with you.
  Building rapport and establishing a genuine connection involves showing empathy and understanding.
  It’s possible you feel for them but if it doesn’t reflect in your actions, you can’t grow deeper bonds in general.

• You have a bad judgment.
  A pattern of making sound decisions shows you have a great judgment.
  On the other hand, acting confused and seeking others’ opinion on even the smallest decisions makes you seem unreliable.

• You’re not likeable.
  This could be for many reasons. Being mean, talking behind people’s back, making judgmental comments, blaming the world for your problems are some of the ways you could be making it hard for people to like you.

Although I seldom suggest seeking people’s acceptance but if you are generally misunderstood then using people’s feedback for improvement is for your own good.

What’s the one thing that you’ve improved based on feedback?

(Breaking the stress loop and entering the state of action.)

Dear Authentic Introvert,

I’ll keep this one short because I shot three videos in a row yesterday and now, they’re lined up for editing. Lots of work to do today!

I was having a hard time scripting these videos because of a stress loop.

What’s a stress loop?

It’s when you can’t do something creative because of stress and not doing something causes more stress.

I was able to break it by scripting not one but three videos, recorded them and now I feel stress-free because I am no longer falling behind.

On the contrary, I am ahead of schedule.

Whenever your stress is making you stuck, you break free by working thrice as much.

Quick tip: Don’t worry about the quality of your work when you start because you can polish your work as you go along but first you must start.

And worrying about quality will not let you do so.

Have you ever experienced a stress loop?

How did you break it?

because there is no other way to keep doing them.

“There is only one way to get anybody to do anything. And that is by making them want to do it.” —Dale Carnegie

Dear Authentic Introvert,

Despite having an action plan that aligns with your goal, following it consistently is a lot of work.

Most people know what they should be doing to get the outcome they’re hoping for and yet they procrastinate and keep looking for motivation.

The problem with our brain is that the anticipation of an end goal is not enough for it to take action.

It rather looks for instant gratifications.

Even though you started exercising daily for the sake of your own health, you still want to tell some people and be acknowledged and/or praised so you can feel proud of yourself.

It seems that in the absence of these validations and instant rewards, we quickly lose motivation to continue.

This begs the question: how to really want to do things that you have to?

The first step would be to remove the most addictive stuff from your life and if you happened to read my rant the other day, you know you must get rid of your phone.

Because this makes the problem even worse by making your brain habitual to those dopamine rushes.

And you end up constantly negotiating with yourself on how many more reels you can watch before you are shouted at, and you absolutely have to move your lazy ass.

As a result, your brain seeks rewards even for doing the routine stuff like taking a shower when you stink.

With that out of the way, you can now actually focus on a system that pulls you from that rut and gets you to work once and for all.

Our aim here is to turn doing what’s needed into a habit, which typically means you have to do it for at least 3 weeks without fail.

And to achieve this, you must find something that you like so much that you can act on it without thinking twice.

For instance, I don’t like waking up early, but I know that if I do, I can start my day with an amazing creative session to write. And doing so keeps me happy the whole day.

But that’s still not enough to make me wake up at 6.30 so here’s what I did:

If I am able to wake up at 6.30, I write and then I exercise while watching my favorite show on Netflix. And if I don’t wake up, I have to let go of Netflix for the day.

Doing so has proved very effective in not just making me wake up but slowly increase the duration for my spot jogging.

Because the longer I jog for, the more I get to watch.

This also teaches the brain that there is no reward without work – something that aligns with how reality works.

You just can’t have a rewarding doomscrolling session on your phone without first putting food on your plate.

The sooner you learn this the better because the world is no longer designed to feed the ones who don’t work for it.

What’s the one thing that can make you want to work for what you need?

is merely a step towards the next one.

Dear Authentic Introvert,

Challenges are a part of life. They are inevitable when we’re trying to achieve something.

A challenge can be tough and sometimes it feels like it’s holding you back. But it’s never your enemy.

It’s a victory in disguise. You can learn from it. You can grow from it.

It’s like getting stronger every time you lift a weight. The weight is heavy and hurts your muscles, but it’s making you stronger.

The other night, I was taking a walk with my 25yo cousin discussing the challenges she needs to be prepared for.

Then she mentioned how she’s already living with challenges because she recently had to live on her own for a good six months.

For a moment, I thought she was joking or being rhetorical because she was supposed to learn to live on her own when she stayed in her college hostel for the first time about seven years ago.

But I quickly realized she wasn’t.

Here’s the thing:

You don’t learn from a challenge, unlearn it over a period and then face the same thing again like a newbie.

There is nothing abnormal about being too comfortable and complacent, but you need to be aware of your abilities and the things you’ve learnt once and for all.

You can’t live in a loop where you learn, unlearn, and relearn the same things over and over again.

It’s just your brain playing tricks on you by keeping you in your comfort zone and telling you, “Hey, that’s a pretty challenging life you are living, huh?”

This happens when you’ve been stuck in the same place for a long time, which is okay because it’s a part of playing the long game.

But if you see one challenge as already doing enough or the ceiling of what you can achieve, you’re doing a great disservice to your true potential.

Your abilities always go beyond the hurdles you face. Nothing you do is your ultimate limit at any point; it’s merely a steppingstone.

There’s always room to push further, to learn more, and to grow.

Just because you can’t achieve perfection doesn’t mean you can’t strive to be as close to it as possible and you must.

What’s important is to always climb higher than you have before.

What’s the biggest challenge you’ve faced recently?

because your existence has a deeper meaning.

Dear Authentic Introvert,

We often mix up rewards and purpose.

Rewards comprise of that six or seven figure business you want to establish, that big mansion you intend to buy or that expensive car you want to drive.

But purpose is something much deeper.

When you confuse these rewards with your purpose and treat these like a reason for your living, you find yourself lost every now and then.

This happens because even after getting a reward, you don’t feel that fulfilment you were hoping for.

On the contrary, the process seems more calming and fulfilling than the achievement.

Purpose is the fundamental motivation that drives you. It has little to do with short-term goals or temporary desires.

It’s the underlying reason that gives meaning to your actions and choices.

Rewards, on the other hand, are the positive outcomes or benefits that you receive from doing something.

They can be money, praise, recognition, or personal satisfaction. Think of them as incentives to motivate you to take action or continue doing something.

While rewards can be encouraging, purpose is deeper and more enduring. It’s connected to your core values and beliefs about what is important in life.

It’s about what you find fulfilling and meaningful on a personal level, beyond any external rewards you might receive.

Discovering your life’s purpose can be a journey.

It involves self-reflection and understanding what truly matters to you.

It’s the answer to questions such as:

• What am I passionate about?

• What do I find deeply satisfying?

• What impact do I want to have on the world or people around me?

When you live with purpose, your actions and decisions align with your personal values and contribute to your overall sense of fulfillment.

You’re not just chasing after rewards; you’re living in a way that feels right and meaningful to you.

Have you found your purpose yet?

or maybe it’s a wrong comparison.

Dear Authentic Introvert,

Remember when you got your first phone? It was a magical device even without the apps and the games it has today.

We thought it’d make our lives a lot easier. The idea of getting in touch with whoever we want whenever we want seemed surreal.

Fast forward to present, the same phone has become a big reason why people no longer connect with each other.

Even during your planned tea/coffee dates, this evil intruder keeps stealing attention every now and then.

10 years ago, if you were reading a book while someone was talking to you, they would take the hint and leave you to it.

But we have accepted ignoring and being ignored because of this phone so well that we have forgotten to respect and be respected. We seldom make eye contact and notice visual cues during one-on-one interactions, losing effectiveness.

And like all other unutilized human abilities that we’ve lost permanently, we’d lose these too sooner than we expect.

Don’t get me wrong, phones are amazing devices when they offer seamless mobility of work from one device to another, especially when we are on the move.

The problem starts when it replaces boredom, considering how boredom is not addictive like phone.

Let’s look at this objectively.

You have 5 minutes to relax between chores.

You pick up your phone and start doomscrolling Instagram reels, forwarding them to people, discussing that mindless content over chats, then you call someone to gossip and all this lasts longer than 5 minutes.

How long? Probably an hour or more – I’ll let you choose.

It was meant to be a five minutes relaxing break, which is not even enough to make you feel bored, and you spent at least twelve times that time on hyper-engaging activities that leave you mentally exhausted and unproductive.

And then you hate productivity advice from the world’s greatest experts because nothing seems to work for you. How would it?

You have given all your time of self-reflection, deep thinking, creative ideation, and reenergizing to a stupid device that everybody else involved profits from except you.

And then you try to make it work with whatever is left of you despite your phone addiction and call even the simplest habits a struggle because you don’t have the time.

There’s a simple rule to this situation.

If the time you spend on your phone (including calling, texting, doomscrolling, looking at the screen) is anywhere close to, or worse, more than the time you spend on personal breaks (actual breaks minus the phone), you’ve got a serious addiction!

And if you’re confused about why your life isn’t going anywhere, there is your answer looking right at you this whole time – your phone.

Your phone is useful only as long as it serves you but as your master, it’s super mean and cruel. Free yourself before it’s too late.

Key Takeaway:

Don’t let your phone replace your boredom.

Boredom helps you reflect on your life, think of ideas to change your life, and implement them in the form of daily habits – all things your phone won’t let you do.

Cheers,

Sachin Sharma

Highly likely.

Dear Authentic Introvert,

It’s a common tendency among people to compare themselves to those whom they consider more privileged.

This causes them to focus on things they lack and express dissatisfaction about their life.

And what’s the most common factor that makes them feel like they don’t have enough?

No points for guessing – it’s the lack of money.

I recently met someone who fits the definition of money minded.

He was telling me how he couldn’t celebrate his anniversary on an expensive vacation he had planned because of a personal emergency.

So, he decided to have dinner in the most expensive restaurant he could drive to and back from the same day, but he couldn’t because his cat got sick.

Finally, he decided to stay at his newly bought (did I mention expensive?) house the entire day watching TV, having homemade exotic food and taking an entire day off from work.

He also mentioned how privileged he felt because he could afford so many options to celebrate his special day.

I found it funny because just a few days back I found a 22-year-old guy complaining about living this exact same life on Reddit.

He mentioned how he was very unhappy because he was not able to find a job that could take him places instead of working remotely where all he could do was eat, sleep, watch TV and do whatever he wanted while staying home (without the expensive tags).

It’s interesting how one person’s privilege becomes another’s agony.

It made me realize that privilege is not actually about things, it’s more about your mindset.

When you look at other people and envy their privileges, there is someone in the universe who is looking at you the same way.

When you focus on your scarcities, all you see is privileged people around you, while taking everything you have for granted.

The truth is that everybody is handed doughnuts and lemons.

It’s up to you whether you enjoy doughnuts and make lemonade or continue to compare your lemons to somebody else’s doughnuts and live in agony.

Key Takeaway:

See your own privileges.

Be thankful for what you have because who you look up to might be sad about not having what you have.

Cheers,

Sachin Sharma

Which one?

Dear Authentic Introvert,

There are instances where we connect seeking help with our self-respect.

It could be asking for financial help from your parents or friends, or seeking guidance from someone whom you don’t want to show your vulnerability to.

And because self-respect is an undisputedly good personality trait to have, we often enforce it by making sacrifices.

But…

Sometimes it’s important to look at the bigger picture to understand how to resolve this conflict or to see if there is even a conflict.

There are many examples of successful people where seeking help at a crucial time proved pivotal for them.

Maya Angelous encouraged Oprah Winfrey to focus on authenticity and self-awareness when she was stuck in her career at one point. If Oprah had refrained from seeking advice for the sake of her self-respect, we might not have heard her name today.

It’s important to understand that asking for help is not really in conflict with your self-respect when all you want is to overcome a challenge and grow.

There is no glory in losing just for the sake of self-respect.

You won’t find a single example in history where a person is hailed for failing because they never asked for help.

Therefore, when you feel stuck, never hesitate to ask the right people for help.

Key Takeaway:

There is no glory in not asking for help when you need it. Ask the right people whenever you’re stuck.

Cheers,

Sachin Sharma

(or Not)

Dear Authentic Introvert,

We’ve all been there—the delicate dance of offering help.

Sometimes, it feels like stepping on a landmine.

Let me explain why.

You see someone struggling, and your inner superhero kicks in. You swoop down, cape flapping, ready to save the day.

But wait! The person you’re helping? They didn’t sign up for this rescue mission. They’re like, “Thanks, but no thanks.”

Result? You wasted time, energy, and maybe even a bit of dignity.

Lesson learned: Not everyone wants your help, even if they seem lost in the wilderness of life.

Let’s picture another situation.

You’re lost in a maze, and you spot someone who seems to know the way out. You ask for directions.

But guess what? They’re just as clueless as you! They confidently point you in the wrong direction.

Now you’re doubly lost. You wasted time asking the wrong person. Oops!

How to Avoid These Time Traps:

Before you play hero, make sure the person in distress actually wants saving.

Ask, “Hey, need a hand?” If they give you the “nah, I’m good” look, respect it.

Put yourself in their shoes. Maybe they’re not rejecting your help; they’re just navigating their own messy maze.

However,

If you’re the one asking for help, be honest.

Are you genuinely open to assistance, or are you just venting?

Don’t be the clueless asker who wastes others’ time and energy.

And lastly, set boundaries.

If you’re drowning in requests, learn to say, “Sorry, my plate’s full.”

It’s not selfish—it’s being realistic.

Key Takeaway:

Be mindful. Help when it’s wanted, ask when you’re ready, and remember: Life’s too short for unnecessary detours!

Cheers,

Sachin Sharma

You seem to be bothered by the Blue Dot!

Dear Authentic Introvert,

Have you ever wondered why, even when things seem to be going well, you still feel a bit off?

It’s like there’s this nagging sense of dissatisfaction lurking in the background.

Well, you’re not alone.

There’s a fascinating psychological quirk called “The Blue Dot Effect” that explains why our brains can play tricks on us.

What’s the Deal with the Blue Dot Effect?

Imagine you’re on a treasure hunt for a rare blue dot in a sea of white. At first, you’re hyper-focused on spotting it.

As the blue dot becomes scarcer, your brain starts broadening its definition of what counts as a blue dot.

Suddenly, you’re seeing faint blue specks everywhere—even when they’re not really there.

Our brains evolved to be cautious, always on the lookout for threats.

But in our relatively safe modern world, this survival mechanism can backfire.

We keep searching for problems, even when things are mostly okay.

The Blue Dot Effect messes with how we see our achievements, relationships, and overall happiness.

We might overlook progress and focus on what’s missing, leading to that persistent feeling of “meh.”

Here are some examples:

• Relationships: You’re in a great partnership, but you obsess over minor flaws or disagreements, ignoring the bigger picture.

• Career: Despite career growth, you fixate on a missed promotion or a tough project, feeling unfulfilled.

• Health: Even with improved health, you worry about minor symptoms, fearing the worst.

How to Break Free from the Blue Dot:

• Recognize when you’re falling into this pattern. Ask yourself if your dissatisfaction matches reality.

• Celebrate the small wins and appreciate the blue dots you’ve already found.

• Stay present. Don’t let your mind wander into unnecessary negativity.

• Instead of seeing problems, view challenges as opportunities for growth.

So next time you spot a blue dot (real or metaphorical), take a moment.

Maybe it’s just your brain playing tricks on you.

Life’s pretty darn beautiful, imperfections and all!

Key Takeaway:

To stop falling into this trap of seeing problems that aren’t there, recognize the tricks your brain is playing, revisit your past achievements, and mindfully look at your problems as opportunities.

Cheers,

Sachin Sharma