even if you don’t want to.

Dear Authentic Introvert,

Did somebody ever use this tactic to persuade you into doing something you don’t want to?

They come to you claiming that if you don’t do it, there’s no other way.

Guess what? It’s a trap.

Creating a sense of urgency while making you feel special is a brilliant way to get you to work for them.

But the fact is that you are their most convenient option because you’ve done so in the past.

Unless you want to, you need to stop falling into this trap and say no to such opportunities because they’re nothing but a distraction.

Now, because it’s end of the week and I’m ending Sunday roundups from tomorrow (I don’t see the point anymore, and both you and I need a break once a week), here’s another similar trick to need to be wary of:

When people end their emails or texts with ‘what do you think?’ or ‘I can use your feedback’, they are trying to make you prioritize their work.

The illusion of being the one whose feedback matters makes you want to do it and that’s how you fall into this trap.

Unless, of course, you want to do it anyway.

Key Takeaway:

Don’t do stuff you don’t want to do just because people make you feel special or exclusive. Do it only because it’s worth your time.

What do you think?

Tips for dealing with nosy people.

Dear Authentic Introvert,

We live in a world where people talk for the sake of it

even if they don’t have anything worthwhile to say.

They start with small talk about each other’s well-being, the weather and how’s their day going,

which nobody should and does care about.

But because they’ve run out of things to say, they start asking questions about you, your personal life, why you’re in a certain mood at that moment and so on.

They want to figure out a reason for everything about us even before we do.

This can get quite frustrating, especially when you don’t want to sound rude but the only logical thing to say is that this is none of their business.

Let’s rephrase that.

“I prefer not to discuss my personal life. I like to be private.”

Sounds better?

Or you use redirection, which would be obvious but on purpose.

“I’m not sure about that, but have you seen the latest update on climate change? How long do we really have?”

See? You switched to a better and more important topic using humor.

A light-hearted joke can deflect the conversation without offending.

However, if humor is not something you’re natural at, you should keep your responses short and to the point to discourage further probing.

And if you’re already feeling overwhelmed, it’s okay to excuse yourself from the conversation politely.

It’s your right and using it now and then ensures that people understand this too.

Being prepared in advance about what you are and aren’t willing to share helps greatly.

Key Takeaway:

You’re not obligated to share anything you don’t want so use humor, short answers and/or “excuse me” to make it obvious.

So, were you bullied as a child too?

Just Kidding,

Sachin Sharma

Test for overstimulation.

Dear Authentic Introvert,

Do you ever feel like you lose motivation fairly quickly?

You start working on a new project.

You are excited to implement all those great ideas you have in your mind.

You work for a few days.

And even though things are going well, you start feeling like you are not as interested as you used to be.

Then you start thinking that maybe this is not the thing for you.

And before you realize it, self-doubt creeps in.

Are you not good enough for this job?

Should you be doing something else?

This leaves you confused and doubtful about your career choices.

(Not sure about you but this is exactly what happens to me!)

But the problem lies elsewhere.

Introverts operate a bit differently than others.

The excitement you initially feel about a project comes from your imagination.

You think of ideas, and you imagine yourself implementing them.

But as things progress, you find yourself at the forefront executing everything.

Any kind of work brings a certain level of exposure with it.

Now you have to coordinate with others which means there will be discussions.

There would be people to check on things and make sure everything is going as planned.

In other words, your interactions with the real world increase and you can tell that things will only go north from here.

This is where you start missing your world of imagination where there was only you and your work.

And now all these procedures have taken that away from you.

Motivation is always intrinsic for introverts.

Here’s how to maintain or boost it when you start feeling low:

• Reduce your exposure to unnecessary tasks and people.

• Try not to oversee everything all the time. Let other people do their jobs and review in stages.

• Do the same for discussions; instead of every other day, make them weekly.

• Prioritize tasks that you can do solo.

• And lastly, take a break to recharge in solitude whenever you’ve had a day full of interactions.

The key is to protect yourself from too much stimulation from meetings and group tasks, and you should be golden.

Key Takeaway:

When feeling low on motivation, reduce your exposure to interactions to a bare minimum.

Spend more time in solitude to reflect and find it inside you.

Motivated for you,

Sachin Sharma

There’s a great chance you’re far better.

Dear Authentic Introvert,

Ever been in a situation where you want to start an endeavor but decide not to because you think it’s too late?

I have been there many times.

I was 25 when I moved to Mumbai to work as an Assistant Director in the Indian Film Industry, Bollywood.

After a year of working on small time projects, I realized things were not moving as fast as I needed them to.

I also noted that there were people working there who started when they were not even 20.

I assumed I was too late to the party.

And because a person working there might take anywhere from 5 years to never on an average to start earning enough, I decided to quit.

Clearly, I was naive because this was not the last time I did that:

• Didn’t move to New Zealand for study

• Quit theatre

• Quit writing so more times than I can remember

• Quit reading every other year since 2007 (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows)

• Quit YouTube at least 4 times

• Quit so many things that I can’t count

But today I know…

Assuming an average timeframe for succeeding and making decisions based on that alone is the stupidest thing one can do.

Here’s why:

How do you calculate an average?

If 100 people decided to start writing a newsletter, 10 of them succeeded in a year, another 10 in 5 years, there were 10 who never made it, and the rest 70 decided to quit in less than a year,

what’s the average timeframe for being a successful newsletter writer?

Here’s what Copilot says:

If we exclude the quitters and consider that those who never succeeded worked for 10 years, we can calculate the average timeframe for a person to succeed at writing a newsletter as follows:

• 10 people succeeded in 1 year.

• 10 people succeeded in 5 years.

• 10 people never succeeded, now considered as 10 years.

The 70 quitters are not included in this calculation. The average timeframe (T_{avg}) is:

Tavg​=[(10×1)+(10×5)+(10×10)]/30​

Tavg​=[10+50+100]/30​

Tavg​=160​/30

Tavg​=5.33 years (approximately)

5.33 years is a long time if you want to make it a full-time job.

No wonder the majority would quit.

But ask yourself these questions about that thing you want to do:

• Do you really want to do it?

• Do you love doing it so much that you can consistently work on it regardless of the outcome?

• Do you consider yourself at least above average at what you’re so passionate about?

If your answer to all these is yes or better yet – hell yeah, then there is a great chance you’ll get there way before that average timeframe, my friend.

So next time you are about to choose something you’re very passionate about, don’t let the average success rate or timeframe to be a huge factor.

Just remember that we are talking about something you really want, so stop counting yourself among the average.

Go get it!

Key Takeaway:

You are never just average at the things you’re passionate about.

That’s why your chances of success are much higher than average.

From above average to greatness,

Sachin Sharma

Because I do.

Dear Authentic Introvert,

75% of adults fear public speaking.

It’s called glossophobia.

For many, it’s their number one fear.

Do you know what this means?

They fear public speaking more than they fear death.

But where does this fear come from?

Your ego.

You don’t want to face rejection, criticism, being made fun of – at least not by a large audience.

Because you can ignore adverse opinions of a few but such a large group collectively seeing your flaws becomes impossible to ignore.

Now, how do you overcome this fear?

By shifting your focus and not letting your ego become paramount.

Here’s the thing – public speaking is less about you and more about your message.

Why are you standing in front of people ready to present an idea?

To make them like you or for them to get your idea?

I hope it’s the latter and if it’s not, find more passion for your idea.

When you are too enthusiastic about delivering your message, your value proposition and your unique idea that solves a very particular problem, how you deliver it becomes less important.

And the fact that you are delivering it becomes irrelevant.

You need to understand that your audience is not there to judge you, they are there to learn about your offering.

Focus all your worries, concerns, and energy around your what instead of on yourself.

And you’d notice your fear disappear.

The more you believe in the value of your message, the less afraid you are to speak.

How you present it,

whether you fumble,

are your pronunciations correct?

– these are all mere technicalities.

Today, I am shooting a video on the exact process to follow while speaking in public, it should be out by Friday.

Watch out for it.

Key Takeaway:

While speaking in public, think about the value you want to deliver and not about yourself. And watch the fear disappear.

Rooting for you in the audience,

Sachin Sharma

as long as we don’t complicate it.

Dear Authentic Introvert,

Mark Twain once said:

“I’ve had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.”

The same has also been attributed to James A. Garfield before him and Winston Churchill even before him.

However, Churchill credited to an anonymous old man in 1924.

If nobody claims the credit in the next 10 years, I’ll take it.

Jokes apart, this is a powerful reminder that most of our fears are unfounded and never come to pass.

We have this habit of playing worst case scenarios in our minds that most likely would never come true.

The only way to know for sure is to take action regardless of what can possibly go wrong.

I am not asking you to believe there would be no hurdles because you are smart enough not to fall for that no matter how good your self-talk is.

The key is to not overcomplicate things without losing touch with reality.

It’s a balance you learn to create with practice.

But first, start with a “things aren’t going to be as bad as they can be” mindset and you’ll be golden.

Key Takeaway:

Don’t let your doubts overshadow your actions.

With no doubts for your future,

Sachin Sharma

to take a break!

Dear Authentic Introvert,

When you’re riding the wave of success, you often forget to take a break and recharge.

You may feel like you don’t need one, but the lack of breaks starts reflecting in your ideas.

You stop getting them as frequently as you used to.

But I don’t want to sit idle just because I want a break!

It’s okay. Taking a break doesn’t mean you do nothing.

You can simply switch gears.

Instead of writing continuously, take a break and watch a video or two about getting even better.

Or follow some writing experts on social media and check out what tips they are sharing so you can implement them and be better at your craft.

This exercise protects your brain from creative fatigue by giving it a break from working on the same kind of projects back-to-back.

You’ll observe an improved performance.

Let’s take a break and reflect on what we gained last week:

Monday

Would you still make the same choices?

Dear Authentic Introvert,

What makes you think you’ve achieved something worthwhile?

• People think you are a big shot.

• Your business is growing year after year.

• You’ve won some awards.

• You have a big house and an expensive car – exactly what most people dream of.

• You are getting closer to living like somebody you look up to.

• You think you can buy anything you want.

• You’re earning more than your peers.

Or is it:

• You have no regrets from the past.

• You have built a happy and lovely family.

• You are living where you always wanted.

• You love what you do.

• You own your time.

• You can say “NO” to things you don’t like doing without giving explanations.

• You can still catch up with old friends and take your spouse/love interest on a date even on weekdays.

Getting clear on what you really care about and making it a priority decides how fulfilled your life will be.

This outward validation may boost your dopamine today but in the long run, it’s like chasing fool’s gold.

Because people’s likes and dislikes shift with time.

They don’t cheer for the same magic trick forever.

They’ll eventually stop cheering for you as well.

If you’re living a life people like, your future is doomed.

Don’t copy anyone.

Curate your life exactly how you want.

Live more intentionally.

Key Takeaway:

Set your priorities right from the start so you don’t climb a mountain only to find out it’s the wrong one.

Hoping you climb the right one,

Sachin Sharma