without freaking out.
Dear Authentic Introvert,
Imagine this:
You are in a team meeting listening to your boss explain an important agenda.
And when you are least expecting it, she turns to you and asks:
“What do you think we should focus on next?”
You look at her and then your teammates; everyone is staring at you.
You are forcing your brain to come up with something but…
Your mouth dries up and you start sweating.
As moments pass, you realize things are getting more and more awkward.
And you see your boss’s face turn from questioning to disappointed.
What an embarrassment!
We have all been there and when we look back on that day, we can think of a hundred ways we could have answered.
But we couldn’t because we weren’t prepared.
Why does this happen?
This nervousness comes from your habit of coming up with perfect answers.
And when you aren’t prepared, it becomes too much for your brain to think of different ways to respond and choose the best one.
And the fear keeps rising as you see your audience getting more and more uncomfortable with your silence.
How can you manage that?
And I say ‘manage’ because you don’t want to get rid of this anxiety completely.
It’s how your brain knows that you are in a serious situation, and it is important to focus.
The problem is getting overwhelmed with this fear.
Here’s how this fear can be managed:
First, learn to acknowledge this fear. The more you try to hide it, the harder it tries to show like a kid seeking attention.
You need to be okay with people seeing that you were caught off guard and that’s a normal human reaction.
Next, you need to stop treating the situation as if you’re getting ready to perform for your audience.
Because when you are performing, you want to get things right just as you’ve prepared.
But this is a spontaneous situation so you can’t really perform and there is no wrong way to respond.
Treat it like a conversation.
But just telling your brain to think of it as a conversation won’t fool it.
You have to do something to mean it.
The best way is to ask questions.
What kind of questions?
Simply paraphrase what you’ve been asked:
“So, you want my opinion on what our biggest focus should be to get the desired result, right?”
Doing so makes everyone in the room comfortable and gives you time to process the information.
Now your brain can think more clearly.
And lastly, come up with a spontaneous (not the best) answer.
Because the best one would be full of formal jargon, but a spontaneous one would feel more authentic and effective.
I am making a video on how to practice spontaneous communication and it should be in by Friday (watch out).
That’s the gist of it.
Sometimes being genuinely imperfect is better than overly prepared perfection.
Key Takeaway:
Speak more spontaneously by having a conversation with your audience and by not trying to give the best answers.
Spontaneously introverted,
Sachin Sharma
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