Then maybe it’s time you end this facade.
Dear Authentic Introvert,
Adopting an extroverted facade is a common way to deal with societal pressure for many introverts.
It is a natural response to the Extrovert Ideal – the cultural bias towards extroverted traits.
The ability to be the center of attention is often seen as a sign of confidence and a potential for being an achiever.
The only problem is that this pretentious behavior gradually drains you.
You may not notice it in the beginning.
Sometimes you might even feel like you are getting really good at this.
But there will come a breaking point when you’d find yourself suffocating and unable to continue.
I tried this approach multiple times in my life since childhood because my father loves to socialize or at least he really wants people to see him as a social personality. (I still doubt he’s genuinely social.)
I can’t think of a time when we had an empty guest room.
And unfortunately, the way to the main door passed through our guest room, which meant I had to meet and greet whoever was there whenever I entered or exited.
Don’t get me wrong, I liked connecting with a few of them, but most were, in my eyes, unwelcome interactions.
For years, I acted on autopilot and did what was expected of me.
Fast forward 18 years, I started going to college and at about the same time we got our own house.
To one of my greatest joys of life, my room was on a different floor.
And this meant, you guessed it, no more unwanted social interactions.
It was the first time I tasted freedom in the true sense.
And what happens when you start getting the food you love? You stop compromising your likes and dislikes.
The urge to act how I feel kept getting stronger over the years.
And now, it has come to the point where I feel like I’m about to have a panic attack when I am being forced to pretend in any way.
Let me be honest with you, my friend. The gist of all this is that I stopped people pleasing.
And I highly recommend you do so too.
Because adopting an extroverted facade so people can like you or at least consider you normal (whatever that means for them), can have long-term effects on your mental health and personality.
It’s like pretending to be the wrong gender your whole life.
Carrying on like this requires a significant amount of energy leading to exhaustion and burnout.
It creates dissonance between our true self and the persona we present to the world. It just feels inauthentic.
We end up constantly worrying about keeping up appearances, which only causes stress and anxiety.
And the worst of it all, it leads us to undervalue our introverted traits which are supposed to drive us, like reflective thinking and deep focus.
Many only dream of having these qualities and can’t even pretend to have them. Go figure!
If you have also been pretending to be an extrovert, the sooner you fall back to your authentic self the better.
Because you are meant to be greater than who you are now and the only thing that’s blocking your greatness is the extroverted facade.
Key Takeaway
Find a balance between adapting to social expectations and staying true to your nature. This will lead to a more authentic and fulfilling life.
And if you had to choose one over another, choose your authentic self and never look back. Your future self will thank you!
Your Authentic Partner in Crime,
Sachin Sharma
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